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Are our kids doing too much??

Our local newspaper ran this article a few weeks ago. It's about a girl that graduated from College the same week she graduated from High School. Yeah... you read it right. Actually she graduated from Hutchinson Community College a week before she graduated from Hutchinson High School.

So my wife sent me a link to it and it made me think "are we overextending our kids today?"

I think we (my family) probably do have our kids do alot more than we NEED to. But... we absolutely let our kids choose everything they do and the amount of effort they put into each activity, except school work and manners, we pretty much demand max effort there.

I don't think being a kid is all about fun. I truly believe the main reason for being a kid is preparing for being an adult. Don't get me wrong, a huge part of our family time is spent just chilling out and having fun, it's just not our top priority. Our think some parents lose track (or never had) the thought that being a parent is about parenting, not about insuring your kids have a blast and are your best friend.

I honestly try real hard not to be a judgmental person, but this is a problem I really think we need to deal with in this world. We as parents have to prepare our kids to be responsible adults.

Part of parenting in my opinion is pushing kids out of their comfort zone. I didn't say pushing them past their limits, just out of their comfort zone. If we don't make them uncomfortable and learn to deal with it, they will not be able to deal with it in adult life. It's just a fact of life.

On the discussion of limits... the girl in the articles Mother had this quote

"I was a little worried that she was overextending herself," Botkin said, "but my true belief is that children have to find their limits instead of having limits imposed on them."

I think that is genius... I have put that in my mental parenting file folder.

Thoughts?? Cut loose!!

6 comments:

  1. We only have one child and his thought processes have been ahead of the curve all of his life.

    I've seen too many cases where kids were treated as small adults and taught they were the solution to the world's problems.

    I've also seen too many kids who were fueled by the self-importance of their own cognitive abilities to the exclusion of how their "solutions" impacted others. Something that is often encouraged...to think, discover, push forward. Humanity is often undervalued in the push for "brilliance".

    I can't tell you how dangerous it is for any society to undervalue "humanity".

    Jake has been in gifted classes since the first grade. This last year of high school, all of his classes are college level and for college credit. Some of his classes last year were also for college credit.

    That's not uncommon in today's world. I'm including it only for informational purposes because of what I'm about to say next.

    Twelve years of "gifted" classes later, our son has classmates who, without any thought of what they are saying, talk about how we should "weed out" the elderly because it's too costly to provide medical care for them.

    Other "gifted" kids in his class talk openly of the need to decide who "deserves" to live...and who doesn't on other criteria not based on age.

    We should all be careful of what we're being told is "progress".

    So many folks will say, Adolph H. was a monster...and I agree, he was. But the poison that he translated into the mass extermination of Jews didn't originate in Germany.

    It originated in the U.S. and was exported to Germany. Into an economic environment so completely crippled by printing too much money and inflation so terrible it took a wheelbarrow of cash to buy a loaf of bread.

    In support of the mom quote you've included in your blog, I've no doubt she wrote that with pure thought.

    Unfortunately, for every quote written with pure thought, there will be someone who comes along and reads it as a validation that "morality" is an archaic value to be tossed aside while "brilliance" in and of itself should be given free reign.

    Most of all, I believe in "balance" but there is no "balance" without limitations on individual components.

    IMHO, a large part of parenting is having the emotional balance and perspective to teach your children to see humanity beyond their own needs, their own wants and their own "brilliance".

    "Brilliance" without "humanity" is a dangerous, dangerous thing. The history of the world has shown us that many times over.

    I believe in limits Cody. Some things shouldn't be done just because someone finds a way to do them.

    I think we have to teach our children that along with reaching for their dreams.

    Good parenting is about balance.

    Often, if you are raising a gifted child, it's giving your child time to emotionally grow into where their intellect starts out. It's about letting them find their comfort zone that will carry them through all the changes and expectations their lives will hold.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My kid isn't doing too much. Except pooping his pants.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jolene,

    i wish you would just go ahead and say what you feel and stop felling limited by the size of the comment box. haha

    Thank you very much for the comment, I love reading your stuff.

    Anonymous, every little thing makes a parent proud though doesn't it. haha

    ReplyDelete

I love the discussion in the comments.. so... GO FOR IT!

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